Stump of a Muffin

Money All Over the Highway

You’re driving down the highway, making time to get home after a visit up island, and then suddenly there’s money all over the highway.  What do you do?

Because you’re reading this I’ll tell ya what I did.  Afterwards tell me what you would do.  Brake hard and back-up to where you can jump out and start grabbing handfuls of money.  True story!

After picking up about $300 in cash, a few credit cards and some ID and loyalty cards a young lady pulls up alongside and shouts “I was just coming back to pick that up!”.  Rats.  She’s in her car on the other side of the medium.  A few thoughts when quickly through my mind.

Cheese it!  When it was nothing but cash in my hand I was getting rich and someone was out of luck.  As the pieces of ID and credit cards came into my possession the thoughts for returning the find began.  Rats.  Some lucky person was going to get their cash and stuff back.

Return it.  Then when she pulled up and yelled that she was coming for our find there was no doubt I was simply picking up someone else’s mess.  A mess she’d made on the Trans-Canada Highway.

Wait, what am I doing?  The Trans-Canada Highway can be a busy place.  It was.  South travelling holiday traffic this Labour Day weekend were patient enough – slowing and navigating around me and my son.  Nathan?  My son was out there too picking up money.  A big grin on his face.  I’d told everyone to stay in the van.

“Holy shit!”  That’s what my wife, Tracy, was thinking as she watched these two idiots run around on the highway chasing the scattered bits of a wallet.  “I’m front row to a human flying a hundred feet in the air once they’re hit.”

Ok, now she’s standing in front of us asking for her money and stuff.  “You are the lucky person I know,” I say to her.

“I know,” she says.

“What’s your name?”  I can’t think of any other way to have verification before handing over $500 my son and I have just ran around on a busy highway collecting.

End of the story is, Chelsea, got her entire wallet back.  She’d left it on the roof of her car after getting gas.  She did give Nathan a $20.  Nice.

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